St Rudolph vs Johsei Shounan
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Mizuki wants Kajimoto, so he arranges a field trip for St. Rudolph. Akazawa, the buchou who can't say no to Mizuki, agrees. Tennis happens. Hanamuara-sensei likes little boys. Kaneda cries, and Nomura turns into a puddle of goo. Oh, and Mizuki is scary.


A/N: First time trying to write Akazawa as more than a passing joke. Also my first time trying to write St. Rudolph as a whole, instead of just my favorites. This is just some random almost-tennis-related humor, as well as Akazawa x Kajimoto (yum).

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St. Rudolph vs. Johsei Shounan: The Battle for Kajimoto of the Century

Akazawa was getting tired of Mizuki Hajime's antics. It was true that he was good for the team's performance, but sometimes, he was just utterly…annoying.

"Why are you dragging the team with you?" Akazawa demanded. "And why did I agree to this?"

"I told him it was a group outing, and you agreed because you can't resist me." Mizuki flashed a dazzling smile, and Akazawa resisted the urge to puke.

He had to look on the bright side - at least the rest of the team was there. Still he should have been able to resist; he was the captain, damn it --

Bah. Mizuki was the one really in charge and he knew it -- and so did everyone else, unfortunately. He'd heard rumors that he was supposedly Mizuki's bitch/love slave/servant. It wasn't very flattering to his manly image.

"This will be good practice for the team," Mizuki continued. "Johsei Shounan is full of strong players."

"That isn't what's bothering me," Akazawa muttered. What was bothering him was the evil look in Mizuki's eyes -- he was planning something. Akazawa had done his fair share of plotting with Mizuki in the past, and had even won a few matches because of it, but he had also been the subject of one or two of Mizuki's experiments, and he knew it wasn't pleasant. Akazawa just hoped that whatever he was planning wasn't directed against him, because he had no intention of spending his Sunday on the receiving end of one of Mizuki's evil plots.

"Johsei Shounan's coach was very excited about this idea."

"Really."

"Don't be so worried! It's just tennis."

Right. With Mizuki, it was never just tennis.

"All right everyone, let's get going," Akazawa said, as he returned to his team. They all wore similar looks of weariness on their faces, because they all knew Mizuki too well. "We're off to play tennis."

Akazawa spotted the reason for the entire outing immediately after they arrived. In fact, there was a spotlight shining on him, and a chorus of angels singing behind him.

Mizuki pranced over and struck up a conversation with him --

So. This was another of Mizuki's attempts to seduce random pretty boys.

That made Akazawa feel a trifle better. As long as Mizuki wasn't trying to seduce him, then he didn't really care. He wasn't exactly thrilled at being used for Mizuki's affairs, but -- it couldn't be helped.

Akazawa had to admit that Mizuki had good taste (at least this time). He wouldn't have minded -- never mind. He was not going to finish that thought. Ever. He wasn't kinky like that; really, handcuffs weren't his style.

"You must be the buchou. Mizuki-kun has told me so much about you," purred a very feminine voice. Judging by the view Akazawa suddenly had of a pair of very large breasts, that voice probably belonged to a woman. A full grown woman.

Eek.

"I'm the buchou," Akazawa confirmed, as he tried to back away slowly. "Akazawa Yoshirou."

"I'm Hanmura. I'm glad you agreed to bring your team out here today," the scary woman (who he now knew was Johsei's coach) continued. "I'm looking forward to watching all of you."

"I'm sure you are," Akazawa muttered, and then he ran and hid behind Kaneda.

"Buchou? What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Akazawa replied. "Just don't move."

"Um. Okay."

"I've made a lineup for us," Mizuki said. He was waving a lavender scented piece of paper in the air. Akazawa couldn't be sure, but it looked like whatever was on it was written in glitter gel pen.

"Doubles two Kaneda-kun and Nomura-kun."

"What? Why don't I get to play with Akazawa-buchou?" Kaneda blurted out. Then he turned bright red.

"Because I said so," Mizuki replied. "Doubles one is Yanagisawa-kun and Kisarazu-kun."

"Doubles one for a change! Too bad this match doesn't count for anything, da ne," Yanagisawa muttered. "I would have liked to brag to my mother, da ne."

"Singles three will be Yuuta-kun." That said with a brilliant smile in Yuuta's direction. Akazawa felt a twinge of jealousy. Mizuki never smiled at him like that…ack, what was he thinking? He didn't want Mizkuki to smile at him like that! Ever!

"Singles two is you, buchou."

"Why do you get singles one?" Akazawa asked. As buchou, he should have singles one! He was sick and tired of Mizuki sticking him in whatever spot he wanted --

"Because I said so."

"Good enough." Akazawa realized, not for the first time, that he was completely whipped.

"Because this is just a friendly game, we'll be playing all the matches," Mizuki said. "Even if we win before we need to."

That meant they were going to be here for a while. Akazawa stifled a sigh. "Let's get this started then." Get it over with, more like.

Kaneda and Nomura found themselves facing a scary pair of twins. One had short pink hair and the other had long blue hair, but other than that, they were very scarily identical.

They also looked like girls. Rather cute girls, to boot.

The overall effect was so distracting that Kaneda and Nomura kept colliding with one another. Well, that might also have been due to the fact that they'd never played doubles together before. Kaneda knew how it was done, but Nomura -- well, Nomura sucked, plain and simple.

After losing two games to the twins, Kaneda let loose his frustration. He gave Nomura a lecture about doubles and teamwork (Akazawa was sure he'd heard that one somewhere before) and finished the whole thing up with "And do you even know how to play tennis?"

Nomura, who had become smaller and smaller as the lecture went on, let out a tiny squeak from where he lay, melted on the ground.

Meanwhile the twins Tanaka, Yohei and Kohei, were laughing their cute little asses off.

"Those two --"

"--are so pathetic --"

"It makes me want to cry!"

"Or laugh!"

"Or laugh until we cry!"

Kaneda was not the most clever of individuals, but he had somewhat of a temper, as he had just demonstrated. He pointed his racket at the two twins, and exclaimed mightily, "We're going to defeat you!"

The twins looked at each other -- then started laughing harder. By this time, they could hardly stand because they had stitches in their sides, so they began to roll around on the ground. Kaneda's self-esteem took somewhat of a plunge, and he returned to his position with a sulk on his face.

Nomura managed to peel himself off the ground in time for the game to start. Not that it made any sort of difference, because he continued to play a terrible game, and St. Rudolph lost doubles two -- six games to love.

Akazawa resisted the urge to put his face in his hands and cry in embarrassment.

"You team put up a very good effort," Kajimoto said, obviously to be polite. Akazawa was sure that he was laughing inside. He didn't even want to stand next to this beautiful buchou while his team were acting like morons -- but Mizuki insisted that he be here, so that he and Kajimoto could have "buchou talk". Which gave Mizuki and excuse to be there -- so he could stand with his buchou. (While digging his claws into Kajimoto).

"All team members are very determined," Mizuki said.

"They're idiots," Akazawa mumbled. From the way Kajimoto put his hand over his mouth, it was clear that he was trying to hide a smile.

"The next victory will be ours," Mizuki said. He went to give Yanagisawa and Kisarazu some kind of pep talk/advice session.

"Don't you usually talk to your players before they go out?" Kajimoto asked.

"I really have very little power as buchou." Akazawa saw no reason to lie. "Mizuki's the one who's really in charge."

"I see. He does have a very…controlling personality."

"Controlling isn't the word I would have used."

This time Kajimoto laughed openly. Akazawa decided he really liked this guy.

Yanagisawa decided that this was the perfect time to bring out his newest secret weapon. Which wouldn't be much of a secret when he brought it out, but he needed to practice it.'

"Are you going to use it?" Kisarazu asked.

Yanagisawa nodded. "I think I will, da ne."

Kisarazu winced. Then he went to stand on the very far side of the court, as far away from Yanagisawa as he could get without actually leaving.

"St. Rudolph to serve!"

Yanagisawa threw the ball up…and with a great "DA NE!" hit it at just such an angle that it went soaring -- right into Kisarazu's head.

"Every time!" Kisarazu wailed, from his position on the ground. At least he wasn't unconscious, this time.

"Atsushi! Are you all right, da ne?"

"Don't use that move ever again!" Kisarazu growled. "You can't do it."

"But --"

"You'll never get it right, so STOP TRYING BEFORE YOU KILL ME!" Kisarazu was usually a rather mild individual, but his brains were becoming rather scrambled of late.

"I'll just use my original serve then, da ne."

"Please do."

Meanwhile, across the net, Kiriyama and Ota were regarding each other with confused looks.

"Are they really big morons, or are they planning something?" Ota wondered aloud. He was the brains of the pair; Kiriyama was more useful as a stepping board.

"Ungh," Kiryama replied, confirming the previous statement.

"We're ready now, da ne!" Yanagisawa said. He used a normal serve, and the ball went over the net like it was supposed to.

It was a fierce match, but Yanagisawa kept in mind Mizuki's advice -- they had to win, or he was going to force them to play their next few matches in mini skirts and high heels. He hadn't actually given them any helpful data, because he hadn't collected any on their opponents -- apparently they were so horrible to look upon that they insulted Mizuki's eyes.

Yanagisawa didn't see anything wrong with them, da ne.

Yanagisawa and Kisarazu managed to use their teamwork and luck to actually win their match without much further mishap, excluding the fact that Yanagisawa kept talking. Though extremely annoying, Kisarazu was used to that by now.

"I told you the victory would be ours," Mizuki smirked.

"Yes, you did."

Akazawa noticed, with some feeling of discomfort, that Kajimoto was getting closer and closer to him. It appeared to be out of an attempt to move further and further from Mizuki.

It wasn't a bad thing to get closer to Kajimoto, really; it was only uncomfortable because Mizuki kept giving him angry glares. Mizuki could be very scary when he put his mind to it.

"Shouldn't you go talk to Yuuta?" Akazawa asked, in attempt to save the situation.

"Yes."

Mizuki kept his eye on the two as he walked away. As soon as he was gone, Kajimoto let Akazawa have his personal space back. It was rather a shame, actually.

"Wakato Hiroshi is the change-over expert," Mizuki said. "Did you watch those tennis tapes I gave you, Yuuta-kun?"

Yuuta nodded. He'd watched them, just as Mizkui-san had ordered; well, he'd watched most of them. He'd made the mistake of bringing a couple of them home on the weekend, and leaving them on the table; his brother had taped over them. Yuuta hadn't known that until he'd put the tapes in again, though -- and found that he no longer had tennis matches, he had Care Bears. Which weren't very helpful for tennis.

"Show them your skills, Yuuta-kun."

"I will, Mizuki-san." Yuuta trotted onto the tennis court, and tried to stop thinking about cute little rainbow bears as he prepared to serve. He tossed the ball, but missed it when it came back down, because he was too busy staring at the preening Wakato, who had somehow managed to get his fan girl base to come to this ridiculous practice match.

"Can you stop doing that?" Yuuta demanded, grumpily.

"Doing what?" Wakato asked, as he struck yet another pose.

"That."

"What?"

"Never mind." Yuuta successfully served the ball this time. Wakato really was good at imitating professional players -- but Yuuta held his own for a while.

Until Wakato did a very special change-over, and performed a move that Yuuta knew well --

"Was that the Tsubame Gaeshi?" he demanded.

"Saa," replied Wakato Hiroshi -- who was smiling happily, with closed eyes.

Yuuta fainted. (one Fuji Syusuke was enough for anybody, especially his very tortured younger brother. The prospect of a second sent him into shock.)

The game went to Johsei by default.

Akazawa cringed as Yuuta was carried off the court. "How did he know about Yuuta's brother, anyway?"

"I think he's been dating him."

Akazawa pretended he hadn't heard that last statement, so that he could go on living a normal life.

"I'm up next," he said. "Who am I playing?"

"Shinjyo."

"You mean that big scary one over there?"

"Yes."

Akazawa suddenly felt the urge to run home to his mommy. No, he could handle this; he was a tough guy, after all. Besides, if he didn't play, Mizuki would hurt him. (Tough guy, indeed).

"Good luck," Kajimoto said.

Akazawa blinked. "Why are you wishing me luck? I'm the enemy here."

"I know, but I'm starting to like you."

Akazawa felt himself blushing. Aw, shucks. "Well, thanks." He walked onto the court with a bit more bounce in his step. Only to be confronted by Mizuki.

"Be careful," he said. "Or you might get hurt."

Akazawa wasn't' sure whether Mizuki was referring to his opponent for the match, or the fact that Mizuki himself was giong to have Akazawa beaten to death later for daring to move in on his bishounen.

Akazawa gulped.

Shinjyo Reiji was even scarier close up. From the hair-cut to the shape and size of his nose he was every inch the ogre. Akazawa would not let himself be intimidated by him, though; Mizuki was much scarier, after all.

Their game progressed as any normal game would, until Shinjyo got really bored and decided to use his forbidden move just for the hell of it.

"Deep --"

"Reiji! You promised never to use that again!" Hanamura scolded from the sidelines (where she was currently in the process of draping herself across Nomura, who was suffering from a massive nosebleed, and trying to figure out how to either escape or make this moment last forever).

Shinjyo frowned. Trust that crappy old bat to ruin his fun. Well, he would show her!

"--impulse!"

Akazawa felt his face being hit by a truck. No wait, that was just a tennis ball. It kind of hurt, though. In fact, it knocked him on his ass. He saw stars.

"Akazawa!"

Was that an angel looking at him? He wanted to touch it. He reached out his hand, and it came into contact with -- whoops, that wasn't an angel, it was Kajimoto, and --

"I think you should move your hand," Kajimoto said.

Akazawa did so, with much shame and embarrassment. He didn't normally make a habit of groping other guys (at least not in public).

"I apologize," he said.

"Yes. Are you all right?" Kajimoto asked, inspecting Akazawa's face for any serious injury. Akazawa permitted the close contact, mostly because he was really turned on by it at this point.

"I'm fine," Akazawa said. "My jaw hurts a little, though."

Kajimoto turned to face his teammate, who didn't look particularly guilty. "Shinjyo. Don't do that again."

Shinjyo made a hmphing noise. Why should he listen to Kajimoto? Just because he was the buchou.

Kajimoto walked over to him, and whispered in his ear -- "If you do, I'll make sure to lock you in a closet with Hanamura-sensei."

Shinyo's eyes darted to where Hanamura-sensei was tickling a jelly-mass Nomura under the chin.

"I promise," he said.

The match progressed without further incident, and Akazawa won.

"You're up against Mizuki this time," he said.

"Yes. I know."

Akazawa wondered if that was a pained look on Kajimoto's face, or if he was just imagining things. Could it be that Mizuki's seduction wasn't going so well? Now that he thought about it, every time Mizuki tried to put a hand on Kajimoto's leg, Kajimoto hid behind Akazawa.

Mizuki was the master of seduction, and usually got whatever pretty boy he set out to get -- but was he failing with Kajimoto? How interesting.

"I just love watching Kajimoto play!" Hanamura-sensei gushed, appearing behind them. Akazawa nearly peed his pants. He was very sure that Hanamura loved to watch Kajimoto play, but he didn't want to hear about it. Ever. Scary old pervert woman.

"Wish me luck," Kajimoto said.

"Good luck," Akazawa replied. As he watched Kajimoto walk onto the court, he touched his cheek where Kajimoto had touched earlier -- and wondered…could this be lust?

"Aw, do you have a crush on my Kajimoto?" Hanamura-sensei asked, pinching Akazawa's injured cheek.

HOLY SHIT OW! "No, I don't."

Clouds appeared over her head, and fire roared in her eyes. "Well that's good, because he's mine."

Why was everyone so scary today? Akazawa really wanted to go home.

"I have your data from that day we played against Kaido and Momoshiro," Mizuki announced. "I will defeat you."

Kajimoto just nodded, politely, and made to serve the ball --

"Wait, let's make a little wager."

"????"

"If I win, you have to take me to dinner," Mizuki said, with all the confidence of a Mizuki Hajime.

Akazawa felt a stab of sympathy for Kajimoto, from his position under the bench. (He was hiding from Hanamura.) He cheered Kajimoto on (silently, so that no one would try and kill him).

Meanwhile, Kajimoto was swearing to his personal deities that he was not going to let Mizuki Hajime defeat him this day.

A short while later, a very shocked and depressed Mizuki sat on the ground, staring at the grass.

"I can't believe I lost," he muttered, over and over again.

"Good game," Akazawa said, shaking hands with Kajimoto. "I wouldn't mind playing against you, someday."

"The feeling is mutual."

They continued to shake hands for quite some time. Kajimoto had very nice hands. Akazawa wouldn't have minded if --

No, he wasn't going to give in to those fantasies. He wasn't like that; really. Whipped cream and chocolate sauce belonged on ice cream, period.

"Would you mind giving me your phone number?" Kajimoto asked. "That way we could get in touch to arrange this tennis match."

"Oh no, of course I don't mind. Why don't you give me yours as well?"

"Not a problem."

The remaining members of St. Rudolph and Johsei Shounan watched this obvious display of flirting with mixed emotions. Most were a little bored, but some (like Kaneda) were very jealous, while others (like Mizuki and Hanamura) felt their urge to kill rising.

"I'll see you soon then," Akazawa said, putting the treasured piece of paper in his pocket.

Kajimoto…winked. "Very soon, I hope."

Oh, that sounded so much like a promise. Akazawa wiped away some drool, and turned back to his team.

For some reason, Kaneda was crying on Nomura's shoulder.

"I tried so hard, but he never looked at ME like that!" he wailed.

Akazawa didn't even want to know what they were talking about. He was glad to see that Yuuta was conscious once again, even if he was still somewhat green around the gills.

Ah, he loved his team, he really did; he was so proud of them. He was so happy. He felt like singing and dancing -- and he would have, if he didn't think that they would have locked him up for it.

He was so glad that he'd agreed to this outing. He didn't think that anything could spoil his good mood.

"Buchou."

Except that.

"Mizuki…"

"It seems that you got along well with Kajimoto-kun," Mizuki said. He was smiling, but it was a frightening smile.

"Um." Akazawa had a feeling that he was going to pay for his happiness.


End file.
